The Assisted Dying Coalition is the UK and Crown dependencies coalition of organisations working in favour of legal recognition of the right to die, for individuals who have a clear and settled wish to end their life and who are terminally ill or facing incurable suffering.

Below you can find some news updates from our members. Elsewhere on the site you can also find more about us, our members, and our personnel, and how to get in touch.

Two arrested after assisted dying campaigner dies in Switzerland

Humanists UK Assisted Dying Protest, Westminster, London, 2020. Photo credit: Jake Owens Photography

It has been reported that two arrests have been made on suspicion of assisting or encouraging suicide, following the death of incurably suffering assisted dying campaigner Sharon Johnston in Switzerland. Ms Johnston was paralysed as a result of falling down the stairs. She spoke publicly about her wish to have an assisted death in a 2021 BBC documentary, When Would You Want to Die? Humanists UK arranged her participation.

The Crown Prosecution Service policy on assisted dying states that prosecutors must take public interest as a factor when reaching decisions.

Humanists UK Assisted Dying Campaigner Nathan Stilwell said:

‘We don’t know all the facts of this case. But we do know that the present law means that people can be arrested for assisting others to die when those others are terminally ill or incurably suffering, and the behaviour of those assisting them is entirely motivated by compassion. This is wrong because it robs those who are terminally ill or incurably suffering of the choice, dignity, and autonomy as to when to end their lives.

‘We call on the Government and Parliament to legalise assisted dying and support afford freedom of choice.’

Notes:

For further comment or information, media should contact Humanists UK Director of Public Affairs and Policy Richy Thompson at press@humanists.uk or phone 020 7324 3072 or 07534 248 596.

Read more about our work on assisted dying.

Crown Prosecution Service launches consultation on public interest guidance in so called ‘mercy killing’ cases

The CPS have launched a public consultation regarding updated guidance on the prosecution of so called ‘mercy killings’ and suicide pacts. The guidance is used to assist prosecutors in determining whether a prosecution is in the public interest. 

The new consultation is running until 8 April 2022 and members of the public can respond on the CPS website here

Mercy killings are defined by the CPS as when an individual ‘believes they are acting wholly out of compassion for the deceased, or at the request of the deceased’. This is as opposed to ‘encouraging or assisting’ the suicide of another person – such as assisting a family member to travel to Switzerland – which is currently punishable by up to 14 years imprisonment under the 1961 Suicide Act.

The draft changes would introduce new guidance regarding public interest factors which tend in favour or against a prosecution. Notably, the guidance tends against prosecution ‘if the victim had reached a voluntary, clear, settled and informed decision to end their life’.  

In addition, it is proposed that the following sentence be removed from the guidance: Subject to sufficiency of evidence, a prosecution is almost certainly required, even in cases such as ‘mercy killing’ of a sick relative”. The removal of this guidance reflects current practice and recognises that prosecutions in such cases may not be in the public interest. 

The draft revisions bring the guidance closely in line with the Policy for Prosecutors in Respect of Cases of Encouraging or Assisting Suicide, which was originally published in 2010 in response to the case of Debbie Purdy. This followed a similar public consultation which attracted over 5000 responses

In 2009 Ms. Purdy successfully argued that it violated her human rights not to know whether her husband would be prosecuted for assisting her to travel to Dignitas, resulting in the House of Lords ordering then Director of Public Prosecutions, Keir Starmer, to clarify when a prosecution would be required in the public interest. 

Whilst the draft updated guidance is welcome to assisted dying campaigners, many are now arguing that this further highlights how current laws are not fit for purpose.

Chair of My Death, My Decision, Trevor Moore comments:

“While a consultation by the Crown Prosecution Service on public interest guidance for ‘mercy killings’ is welcome, it serves to highlight how broken our current system is for dealing with those cases where an individual acts out of compassion in helping one person to end the life of another at their request. What we need is a compassionate assisted dying law that would ensure appropriate safeguards and transparency – something that around 90% of the public support. That is why we call for a full parliamentary, public inquiry. 

We know from other countries where assisted dying is permitted – around 350m people worldwide now have this right – that the option of a medically assisted death is welcomed by those who meet the criteria. We also know that the very fact of having that option gives people comfort and autonomy, often leading to extended lives that might otherwise have ended in a sad or botched suicide.”

Notes:

For any more information or comment please contact My Death, My Decision at: campaigns@mydeath-mydecision.org.uk.

Read more about My Death, My Decision’s campaign for an inclusive change in the law: https://www.mydeath-mydecision.org.uk/

My Death, My Decision is a grassroots non-profit organisation that campaigns for a balanced and compassionate approach to assisted dying in England and Wales. As a growing movement, we are at the forefront of social change: nearly 90% of the public now favours a change in the law to allow adults of sound mind, who are either terminally ill or facing incurable suffering, the option of a peaceful, painless, and dignified death.

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Jersey votes to approve principle of assisted dying

Credit: Wikimedia Commons

On 25 November, in a landmark decision, The States Assembly of Jersey voted by 36 to 10 in support of the principle of legalising assisted dying for citizens of the island. The vote is an important step towards the introduction of legislation on the island and a victory for assisted dying campaigners across Britain.

Whilst legislation is currently being considered in both the House of Lords and the Scottish Parliament which would legalise assisted dying for the terminally ill, Jersey has voted for a more inclusive approach which extends to the terminally ill as well as individuals with an incurable physical condition resulting in unbearable suffering. This distinction has long divided assisted dying campaigners, with the legislation proposed in Jersey closely reflecting the aims of My Death My Decision.

This decisive vote comes on the back of the results of the Citizen’s Jury which published its findings on 16 September 2021, and which found that an overwhelming majority of 78% were in favour of changing the law. Citizens Juries or Assemblies are used to engage citizens on a wide range of issues and can be used to inform Government policy and legislation. The Jury was selected at random and consisted of 23 residents who reflect the demographics of the island.

Draft legislation will be debated by the States Assembly in Jersey next year with ratification likely to take place in 2023. This would make Jersey the first jurisdiction in the British Isles and Channel Islands to legalise assisted dying.

Trevor Moore, Chair of My Death, My Decision writes:

‘This news from Jersey is welcome indeed. My Death, My Decision have been supporting our colleagues in the Assisted Dying Coalition, End of Life Choices Jersey, in their campaign, and our board member Robert Ince, in his capacity as President of the International Association for Religious Freedom, gave evidence to the Citizens’ Jury that led to this parliamentary decision. It is welcome that the proposed legislation in Jersey will extend to the unbearably suffering as well the terminally ill. In Scotland assisted dying legislation is also currently being considered which would likely extend to all terminally ill people, without any arbitrary six months life expectancy time limit. It must therefore be only a matter of time before Westminster takes note and respects the overwhelming public support in England and Wales for assisted dying reform. My Death, My Death will continue to call for a parliamentary inquiry, so that politicians can hear – and test – evidence from around the world.’

Notes:

For any more information or comment please contact My Death, My Decision at: campaigns@mydeath-mydecision.org.uk.

Read more about My Death, My Decision’s campaign for an inclusive change in the law: https://www.mydeath-mydecision.org.uk/

My Death, My Decision is a grassroots non-profit organisation that campaigns for a balanced and compassionate approach to assisted dying in England and Wales. As a growing movement, we are at the forefront of social change: nearly 90% of the public now favours a change in the law to allow adults of sound mind, who are either terminally ill or facing incurable suffering, the option of a peaceful, painless, and dignified death.

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Germany’s top court overturns ban on physician-assisted dying

Germany’s Constitutional Court has ruled that a law forbidding professional assistance to die is unconstitutional, in a move that is being seen as a major victory for assisted dying campaigners.

The decision, which centred on a controversial 2015 law – which legalised the right for individuals to purchase life-ending substances for ‘altruistic motives’ but forbade doctors or other professionals from prescribing substances for ‘enterprise purposes’ – found that to deny adults the right to professional assistance unlawfully denies them a ‘right to a self-determined death’.

The judgment has been hailed as a major victory for right-to-die campaigners for clarifying the law for those who are terminally ill, since the Court had already ruled in 2017 doctors could not always deny adults who were ‘seriously and incurably ill’ access to similar drugs.

Previously, the law had meant that any doctor who assisted a patient to end their life could face up to 5 years’ imprisonment, resulting in more than 120 people individually applying for life-ending substances to Germany’s Institute for Drugs and Medical Devices without any professional assistance between 2015 and 2019.

Humanists UK, which campaigns for assisted dying for people who are terminally ill and incurably suffering, has welcomed the decision. Humanists UK is supporting Paul Lamb in his bid to change the law on assisted dying in the UK.

It will now be up to Germany’s Government to propose legislation to bring the law in line with the Court’s ruling.

Humanists UK’s Director of Public Affairs and Policy Richy Thompson said:

‘There is now an abundance of evidence demonstrating that a balance between respect for an individual’s autonomy and robust safeguards can be achieved under a sensible and transparent law on assisted dying. Yet, whilst more than 150 million people around the world now have the right to a peaceful and painless death, our own law continues to force those who are incurably suffering to die without dignity or compassion. There is a better way forward, and it is time for the UK to follow in the footsteps of our European neighbours.

‘Dying in a manner and at a time of your own choice is a fundamental human right, and we welcome the decision of Germany’s Court decision as yet another affirmation of this.’

Notes:

For further comment or information, please contact Humanists UK Press Manager Casey-Ann Seaniger at casey@humanism.org.uk or phone 020 7324 3078 or 07393 344293.

Read more about Paul Lamb’s assisted dying legal case.

Read more about Humanists UK’s campaign for assisted dying reform.

Humanists UK is the national charity working on behalf of non-religious people. Powered by over 85,000 members and supporters, we advance free thinking and promote humanism to create a tolerant society where rational thinking and kindness prevail. We provide ceremonies, pastoral care, education, and support services benefitting over a million people every year and our campaigns advance humanist thinking on ethical issues, human rights, and equal treatment for all.

Medical voices and campaigners urge BMA members to support assisted dying

Around 30 doctors, philosophers, academics, and campaigners have written an open letter urging members of the British Medical Association (BMA) to support assisted dying in its survey which closes this week.

The joint letter, printed in The Guardian today, was organised by the UK Assisted Dying Coalition, of which Humanists UK is a founding member, and follows just days after the Royal College of GPs voted to maintain their opposition to assisted dying, despite a majority of GPs wanting to move to a neutral or supportive position.

Among those who have signed the letter are Professor A.C. Grayling, Professor John Harris, Dr Henry Marsh, Dr Wendy Savage, Melanie Reid MBE, Dr Michael Irwin, The Revd Dr Scott S McKenna, and Professor Raymond Tallis.

The full letter and signatories is below.

As medical practitioners increasingly recognise the importance of autonomy and include the public in the planning and delivery of healthcare, it has become vital to listen to and engage with our patients’ wishes. Yet, when it comes to assisted dying, we have become out of step.

In 2006, the British Medical Association (BMA) moved to oppose assisted dying. Even back then, polls indicated considerable public support for assisted dying, and people rarely travelled abroad to end their life.

But, in the years since, public support for a change in the law has risen to around 90%. Despite the best efforts of palliative care, at least one UK citizen a week is forced to leave their home and travel to Switzerland to have an assisted death – which at best, is a decision fraught with emotional and financial cost, and at worst involves someone ending their life before they would otherwise wish.

It is time for change. Over 150 million people worldwide have gained the option of a safeguarded assisted death, as more countries, including Canada, have changed their laws. If other countries can achieve this in a safe and legal manner, why can’t we?

The BMA’s survey on assisted dying closes this Thursday. We urge members to vote in support of reform.

Andrew Copson, Chief Executive, Humanists UK

Carrie Hynds, Chair, Assisted Dying Coalition

Trevor Moore, Chair, My Death, My Decision

Fraser Sutherland, Chief Executive, Humanist Society Scotland

Michael Tailbard, Deputy Coordinator, End of Life Choices Jersey

Peter Warren, Chair Executive, Friends at the End

Stacey Adam, Assisted Dying Campaigner

Dr Julian Baggini, Associate reader in philosophy, University of Kent

Professor Helen Beebee, Samuel Hall Professor of Philosophy, University of Manchester

Peter Cave, Lecturer in philosophy for the Open University and City University, London and chair of the Humanist Philosophers Group

Professor Matthew Clayton, Professor of Political Theory, University of Warwick

Professor John Dupré, Professor of Philosophy of Science and Director, University of Exeter

Dr Nicholas Everitt, Senior Research Fellow in Philosophy, University of East Anglia

Professor AC Grayling Master of New College of the Humanities, supernumerary fellow of St Anne’s College, Oxford, and co-editor of the Wiley Blackwell Handbook of Humanism

Professor John Harris, Professor Emeritus, University of Manchester, Visiting Professor in Bioethics, Department of Global Health and Social Medicine, King’s College London and Distinguished Research Fellow, Oxford Uehiro Centre for Practical Ethics, Faculty of Philosophy, University of Oxford.

Dr Alan Haworth, Philosopher and Author

Dr Peter J. King, Lecturer in Philosophy, Pembroke College

Professor Maggie Kinloch, Professor Emerita and former Deputy Principal of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland

Dr Michael Irwin, Former Medical Director for the United Nations

Dr Henry Marsh, Bestselling author and Neurosurgeon

The Revd Dr Scott S McKenna

Professor Sheila McLean LLB, Emeritus Professor of Law and Ethics in Medicine, University of Glasgow

Professor Richard Norman, Emeritus professor of moral philosophy, University of Kent

Professor Eric Olson, Professor of Philosophy, University of Sheffield

Professor Janet Radcliffe Richards, Professor of practical philosophy, University of Oxford

Melanie Reid MBE, Author and Journalist

Dr Wendy Savage, Former member of the GMC and BMA’s Medical Ethics Committee

Dr Martin Scurr, GP and Medical Adviser Doc Martin

Professor Peter Simons, Professor of Philosophy, Trinity College Dublin

Lord Jeremy Purvis

Professor Raymond Tallis, Emeritus Professor of Geriatric Medicine University of Manchester

Nigel Warburton, freelance philosopher

Professor John White, Emeritus Professor of Philosophy of Education, University College London.

Notes:

For further comment or information, please contact Humanists UK Press Manager Casey-Ann Seaniger at casey@humanism.org.uk or phone 020 7324 3078 or 07393 344293.

See the letter in The Guardian.

Read more about our work on assisted dying.

Humanists UK is the national charity working on behalf of non-religious people. Powered by over 85,000 members and supporters, we advance free thinking and promote humanism to create a tolerant society where rational thinking and kindness prevail. We provide ceremonies, pastoral care, education, and support services benefitting over a million people every year and our campaigns advance humanist thinking on ethical issues, human rights, and equal treatment for all.

Royal College of General Practitioners maintain opposition to assisted dying

The post Royal College of General Practitioners maintain opposition to assisted dying appeared first on My Death, My Decision.

The Royal College of General Practitioners has maintained its 14-year opposition to assisted dying, despite a majority of GPs voting to support a change in the law or adopt a neutral stance.

The college announced the decision of its executive council, after surveying its 50,000 members on the topic last year.

More than 6000 GPs voted in the online poll:

  • 47% of respondents said that the RCGP should oppose a change in the law on assisted dying;
  • 40% of respondents said the RCGP should support a change in the law on assisted dying, providing there is a regulatory framework and appropriate safeguarding processes in place;
  • 11% of respondents said that the RCGP should have a neutral position and;
  • 2% of respondents abstained from answering

The results mean that the College will continue to lobby MPs against changing laws which make assisted dying punishable by up to 14 years in prison, despite a majority preferring to support reform or set out both sides of the argument.

The Royal College of General Practitioners has opposed assisted dying since 2005 and affirmed its opposition in 2014.

In 2013, after a similar survey, 77% of GPs voted to oppose a change in the law, 18% voted to adopt a neutral stance, and only 5% voted to support changing the law.

The news follows after the Royal College of Physicians voted to drop their longstanding opposition to assisted dying in a similar poll last year, and as members of the British Medical Association, the doctors’ trade union body, continue to vote on whether the BMA should change its stance on assisted dying.

The College will now not review the RCGP’s position on assisted dying for at least five years unless there are significant developments.

Trevor Moore chair of the campaign Group My Death, My Decision said: 

‘We are extremely disappointed that the executive council of the RCGP have decided to ignore the preference of a majority of GPs to either support assisted dying or adopt a neutral stance. This seems undemocratic, given that those who voted in support would obviously agree with at least a neutral position’.

The overwhelming shift in support for assisted dying among GPS reflects a wider trend across our country, as nearly 90% of the public now support legal, safe, and compassionate assisted dying.

Whilst more countries than ever have now legalised assisted dying, including Canada, and demonstrated that the best way to protect everyone is through an open and robust system of safeguards, it is disheartening that the RCGP has adopted a position which will continue to silence many in the medical community who have a conscientious commitment to respect their patients’ autonomy and exercise compassion for who are incurably suffering or terminally ill.’

‘The current law on assisted dying simply isn’t working. It forces those who are incurably suffering or terminally ill to suffer, or choose to die abroad – often putting their loved ones at risk of prosecution. There is a better way forward. We will continue to campaign for the adoption of a system akin to that in Canada.’

Act Now: BMA Survey on Assisted Dying Launches Today!

The post Act Now: BMA Survey on Assisted Dying Launches Today! appeared first on Friends at the End.

Please consider writing to your doctor to encourage their support.

Today the British Medical Association will launch their survey on assisted dying. The consultation will close on 27 February and is being run by the independent organisation Kantar.

Doctors will be asked whether the BMA should actively support, oppose, or neither actively support nor oppose (take a neutral stance) on a change in the law to permit doctors to prescribe drugs for adults of sound mind, who are either incurably suffering or terminally ill, to end their life.

The survey will also ask what position members think the organisation should take in regard to doctors administering lethal substances (often known as euthanasia).

You can read more about it here

We have drafted a sample letter below, we would be very grateful if you could send this on to any doctors that you know to encourage their support.

————————

Dear Dr XXX,

The British Medical Association (BMA) is surveying its members on the topic of assisted dying. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m writing to you as your patient/friend to ask you to consider my views when casting your ballot. 

I don’t think it’s right that the UK’s prohibitive assisted dying law means that more than one person a week in the UK travels to Switzerland to end their life. This is double what the number was five years ago, and is despite the best efforts of palliative care. 

There is a better way, and more countries than ever, including Canada, have now legalised assisted dying and demonstrated the best way to protect patients, their families, and doctors through a robust and open system of safeguards.

I’m asking you to support the choice to be given to the terminally ill and incurably suffering to have a legal, compassionate, and safeguarded assisted death, like nearly 90% of the public agree we should.

Please vote in support of assisted dying in the BMA survey.

Yours sincerely

XXX

Court of Appeal rejects Phil Newby’s right-to-die case

Assisted dying campaigner Phil Newby, who suffers from motor neurone disease and has been pushing for a change in the law on assisted dying, has been denied permission by the Court of Appeal.

Phil, 49, a father of two from Rutland, and member of Humanists UK, had asked the court for the right to examine an extensive body of evidence on assisted dying and cross-examine expert witnesses.

Last year, his case had been rejected by the High Court who ruled the issue should be resolved by Parliament instead.

Humanists UK is also working closely with its member Paul Lamb in appealing his case which was rejected by the High Court in December 2019. In 2014 Paul brought a legal case to the Supreme Court, which secured a promise from the court that it would look against the issue should Parliament fail to legislate – making Phil Newby’s case possible.

Last week MPs debated initiating a call for evidence on assisted dying for the first time since Paul and Phil’s cases were heard.

Humanists UK’s Director of Public Affairs and Policy Richy Thompson said: ‘We are disappointed the Court of Appeal has refused permission to bring Phil’s case, but will continue to support him and Paul Lamb – who we hope has a stronger prospect of success.

‘More countries than ever have now legalised the option of a safeguarded assisted death, and proven that a compassionate law need not come at the expense of robust safeguards. Adults of sound mind, who are incurably suffering or terminally ill, deserve the right to die on their own terms, and it is a disgrace our laws have forced so many to die, with little dignity, for so long.’

Notes:

For further comment or information, please contact Humanists UK Press Manager Casey-Ann Seaniger at casey@humanism.org.uk or phone 020 7324 3078 or 07393 344293.

Read our previous news item on Phil Newby.

Read more about Humanists UK’s campaign for assisted dying reform. 

Humanists UK is the national charity working on behalf of non-religious people. Powered by over 85,000 members and supporters, we advance free thinking and promote humanism to create a tolerant society where rational thinking and kindness prevail. We provide ceremonies, pastoral care, education, and support services benefitting over a million people every year and our campaigns advance humanist thinking on ethical issues, human rights, and equal treatment for all.

MPs debate assisted dying call for evidence

The post MPs debate assisted dying call for evidence appeared first on My Death, My Decision.

MPs from across the political divide have supported calls for an independent inquiry into assisted dying. My Death, My Decision welcomed MPs’ support on this issue.

In a Westminster Hall debate, Christine Jardine MP, who called for the debate, acknowledged that her own views on assisted dying had changed after the death of her mother and that whilst she may have once been a ‘passive’ supporter she now saw it as incumbent upon herself to take action. In a bid to move beyond the current political impasse among MPs, she called upon the Government to consider formally issuing an investigation into the law on assisted dying as it stands.

She said: ‘Perhaps the cruellest [fact] of all – it [the current law] can all be avoided if you can afford it. The law as it stands has created a two-tier system. If you have more than ten thousand pounds, you can travel to Switzerland or elsewhere for the end of life care of your choice.’ ‘… I have not used a word normally central to this debate and crucial to the campaigns which are going on outwith Parliament – and that word is compassion. That omission, on my part, is deliberate because for me in our law as it stands there is no compassion.’

Among other MPs who spoke in support of assisted dying, new MP Alicia Kearns spoke in support of Phil Newby, My Death, My Decision’s member, saying: ‘I’ve been struck by Phil’s considered and measured case and it sits with us to make a decision. The crux of the matter to me is to recognise the terror and agony to have your body turn on you and to wrack you with pain or torture you; for those suffering debilitating and terminal diseases are not just being robbed of life but also death.’

Later adding: ‘To come to terms with one’s own death, to depart this life in peace and dignity is a privilege I believe we should endeavour as a society to extend, not limit’.

The latest pressure to review a change in the law follows after Phil Newby and Paul Lamb recently both had permission rejected by the High Court to challenge the UK’s prohibitive law.

Despite efforts last year to call for an objective assessment of the law, including an open letter organised by My Death, My Decision and signed by a diverse range of thirty-four doctors, politicians, religious leaders, academics, and campaigners, the Justice Minister, Chris Philp, said the government was neutral in the debate and had no intention of introducing legislation.

Trevor Moore, Chair of the campaign group My Death, My Decision said: 

‘Dying with dignity, in a manner of our own choosing, is a fundamental human right. It has now been almost half a decade since Parliament last examined the issue of assisted dying – and the evidence has changed. Progressive countries, including Canada, have proven a balance can be struck between stringent safeguards and respect for individual autonomy, medical opinion has shifted, new evidence has debunked claims palliative care and assisted dying are incompatible, and the number of Britons forced to end their life abroad has doubled to more than one person a week.

Public opinion has now reached a record high and nearly 90% of the public support a change in the law. But, regardless of one’s view, we’d all surely agree assisted dying deserves a serious and robust discussion – our MPs need to be equipped with the latest impartial, independent and objective evidence.

A call for evidence is essential.

Blog: What is a Good Death?

The post Blog: What is a Good Death? appeared first on Friends at the End.

What is a good death?

A good death means something different to everyone. Some people may relish in the sound of grandchildren running around their home, filling it with life and laughter, whereas some may prefer the peace, quiet and support of a hospice. For others, it could mean refusing treatment or putting a DNACPR in place.

A good death is personal to the individual.

How can you achieve a good death?

There’s a lot of options available to suit
your personal needs. These are some of the common things that contribute to the
idea of a ‘good death’:

Medical affairs

Having an Advanced Care Plan in place and
specifying your final medical care decisions, as well as considering ways to
control pain and discomfort, can ensure your end of life care happens on your
own terms. It also allows for dignity to remain intact, whatever that looks
like to you. Think about your personal care preferences and document these via
your ACP.

Also thinking about who you want to be cared for by, for example a doctor,
nurses, home carers or your family and friends. You have the choice of where
you want to be in your final days, this may be at home, in a care home, in a
hospice or hospital.

Legal affairs

There are things you can have in place, such
as an up to date will, that reduces the amount of stress at the end of your
life and ensures your estate is distributed in the way you want it to be. However,
only 38% of people in the UK have written a will.[1]

Appointing a Power of Attorney for health and finance also ensures that your wishes and decisions are carried out by someone you trust. Find out more about Power of Attorney here.

Funeral wishes

Thinking about your funeral can take some of
the pressures of your family or relatives. There’s a lot of choice for what
your funeral can look like nowadays – just have a look online and you’ll be
astounded at some of the wonderfully wacky conceptions available! Do you want a
traditional funeral, memorial, or cremation? Or perhaps you will choose to not
have one at all. You can tell a loved one your funeral wishes or write them
down. It is also possible to organise your own funeral; this ensures the
financial pressures aren’t passed onto your family.

Favourite activities and objects

Thinking about what activities, experiences
or objects would be most pleasing and comforting in your final days is
important. This might be listening to a favourite artist or album, reading a
favourite book, enjoying good food and drink. It might also mean being
surrounded by particular photographs or a vase of flowers. As well as, thinking
about who you would like to see in your final days.

Prepare emotionally

Along with the practical matters of having
one’s affairs in order, it’s equally important to prepare for death
emotionally. Spending time with your loved ones toward the end of life can help
with this. Ira Byock’s The Four Things That Matter Most are often quoted
in the context of achieving a good death. Byock states a dying person has a
need to express four thoughts the end of life:

1.   I love you

2.   Thank you

3.   I forgive you

4.   Forgive me

Spirituality

Religion or spirituality can also help people find strength and meaning during their final moments. It is important to think about your preferred spiritual or religious beliefs and underpinnings, and how you want these incorporated into your last days. Again, if you feel able, it is best to document and communicate your wishes.

Saying goodbye

Saying goodbye to your family, friends and
pets can be difficult for both you and your loved ones. The finality of it can
be overwhelming. However, many say that once this is done a sense of peace
prevails.

Your death is just that – yours. You can plan
and prepare for it, in any way you wish to. You have the best chance of
achieving a good death when you plan, prepare and are supported to make
decisions. This might mean hard conversations or ensuring you have an up to
date will in place. In the way that we plan for everything else in life, you
can’t just hope for the best. Friends at the End are here to support you with
any or all of these choices, be it a listening ear or more practical help, get
in touch when you feel ready.

Want more?

Follow Friends at the End on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter to keep up with our latest news. Find out more about our work here.


[1] https://www.macmillan.org.uk/_images/no-regrets-talking-about-death-report_tcm9-311059.pdf